Broken Mindset

I just got this book titled 25 Ways To Win With People (How To Make Others Feel Like a Million Bucks) by John Maxwell and Les Parrot. I am simply excited to share with all of you my insights on this book as I go through it chapter by chapter. The main theme of the book is about how to make the most of relationships by building people up.

Building on people- becoming a stepping stone for them to rise up and achieve their full potential, is one of the most fulfilling things a leader can ever accomplish. That is what winning with people means for me and that is how I see Broken Mindset as a tool- to build people up.

But where does winning with people start? This may sound like a song, but, yes, it starts with each one of us. It starts from how we are as a person and how we see ourselves.

Emotional Health
Being healthy goes beyond our physical bodies. For me, personally, emotional health is being emotionally stable at any point and at any circumstance. This was a struggle for me before. I was always caught on a roller-coaster of emotions, which was affected by external circumstances (stress, etc). I had difficulty to handle excessive emotions, whether it be negative (rage, anxiety) or positive (happy, excited). The key thing I learned is to be emotionally stable and balanced by redefining the values that I want to exhibit. In return those values became like an invisible median scale where I measure my emotions against. I should not go far to the left or to the right of that median for too long- otherwise my emotions becomes unbalanced. This is easier done in actuality than me explaining it here. Try it.

Overflow
Indeed, you simply cannot give what you don’t have. Do not attempt to give “it” to others if you don’t have “it” first. One can think of material things and the analogy becomes easier. Winning with people entails we give our time, our efforts and sometimes we need to learn to love them. If we attempt to give these and we don’t get filled-up to the brim ourselves, ultimately the result is us burning out. One of the best secrets? Drink from the fountain that never runs out:

but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.[John 4:14, NIV]

Be Secured
Security is one of my most favorite topics when I talk to people. Sometimes it is easy for us to say that we are “secured” but as you strip people down of their security, you will find out that, they are secure only up to a certain condition. Some find security in their jobs; some in their bank account; others in the car they drive; some in their social standing; some even in their physical appearance; others in the relationship they have. These are good sources of security, however, the problem with all these is that they aren’t permanent! I think the best way to hook our anchors of security on, is something that is unchanging. Actually, it’s not something, but Someone. Try placing your security on God. Try asking God who you are in His eyes, rather than the eyes of the people who only see the external securities we have. Because this God knows your real value. He knows you by name and you are His own.

And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows. [Matthew 10:30-31, NLT]

When we resolved in ourselves that we are winners in our own way, we can then win with people. Contrary to mathematics, in relationships, one-half and one-half does not make a whole. We must be complete in ourselves in God, before we can complete others. We must find our real value first and foremost, before we can add value to other people’s lives.

Dealing with ourselves first is not a selfish choice- not if our purpose is for us to become stepping stones for other people’s success. As John Maxwell said it in his book:

There’s no greater joy in life than seeing others blossom, grow, and reach their full potential!

This post was inspired by the book 25 Ways To Win With People (How To Make Others Feel Like A Million Bucks) by J.Maxwell and L. Parrot

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