Rubie: Peace And Joy Beyond Circumstance
Here’s a very humble story from a friend. Her name’s Rubie, a project manager in an IT consulting firm.
Most of us think that peace and the joy that comes with it is the result of the circumstances in our lives. But here’s one proof that the peace of God indeed transcends all understanding (Phil. 4:7)- can manifest in the lives of Christians even if the circumstances dictates otherwise.
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It’s been a long-time of struggle for me – feeling stressed, fatigued, unhappy and worriedevery end of the day. I’m full of negative emotions. There are times I’m OK – smiling,
happy, motivated, energized. However, after receiving a sms, receiving an email, hearing
some comments or coversations, reading a status on Facebook, suddenly my mood changes and
I’m back to that undesirable feeling.
I wonder… I go to church every Sunday, attend church seminar on Wednesdays, I’m part of a
church ministry, I read the Daily Bread and meditate in His words, I tithe, I got christian
friends, I have a very loving boyfriend, I’m able to help my family and so they are to me.
It’s just hard to believe that despite all these good things in my life, there’s sadness
inside of me.
I thought, the reason why I’m feeling this is that because there are just too many family
concerns, and I am just so busy and stressed at work – joggling a lot of stuff and
fulfilling what’s on my plate. Maybe, if I just spend a day or two away from the city, I’ll
be OK. Holy week had passed; Family concerns were addressed; vacation is over yet I still
feel the same – UNHAPPY.
Then, there was a week at work wherein I am not fully loaded. I packed up at exactly 6pm and
went home early. No home work, no worries. Yet, I still feel stressed and tired.This really
alarmed me and started asking myself, what’s really wrong?
I tried to reflect and realized that these heavy burden in me is caused by a lot of negative
circumstances – past failure in management, dissatisfied clients, family grief and
misunderstanding, unhappy team mates, office rumors, fear of being misjudged and more. These
things are killing me. These overpowered the good things that God is giving me and allowing
me to experience each day. I wasn’t able to enjoy every wonderful moment that happened in
the past days because of these awful thoughts in my mind. I feel incompetent, and
unaccepted.
So I prayed and told God I’m so tired of these negative emotions and asked Him to take all
the pains, hatred, and disappointments in my heart. My prayer was not immediately answered.
I tried to seek God a little harder. That time, I really wrestled with him, and begged for
him to heal my “wounded heart”. I know I can’t change the heart of people who dislike and
hate me – neither their perception. I cannot force them to appreciate my ways neither ask
them to understand me. What I can only ask God is a peaceful mind and a joyful heart that
despite all negative impressions about me, He will give me the courage to face the world, to
go on, and improve myself out of my imperfections.
As I pray, He also told me to open to a closed friend in church so I did. It was a very long
conversation, without any hesitation I speak and cry out. I can’t contain the feeling
anymore. Thanks God for my friend – for her listening ears, kind heart and her faith. I was
relieved, but not yet totally healed. The next Sunday, I got a chance to talk to another
brother in church. Thanks for his practical advice. I started doing it the other day and it
works.
After a few more prayers and meditation in His words, He set me FREE. Free like an eagle,
soaring high, smiling to the world again, showing what’s inside of me and expressing my
thoughts without any reservation. The peace and joy in my heart now is…PRICELESS.
As He said in John 14:27, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you
as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
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Comments
joy, peace, problems in the workplace, Rubie
Hi Rubie.
Thanks for sharing your testimony. I’ve been going through the same thing for the past few months, but God has changed my heart a lot since then. I was quite a worrier, a deep thinker and melancholic. Though i still have my ups and downs, now i can smile everyday and rejoice in his goodness. So yea, hearing a similar story is very encouraging.
Joe
Hi Joe,
Just stay in His grace, continue praying and ask for His guidance. It’s really liberating to be freed from all of those worries and pains. I am very happy now because I am back to some part of the old “me”. I can feel the joy at work and in my daily activities. A lot of things had changed. Really amazing! To God be the glory!
Hi Bhee,
Hi Mattot!
[...] This has been posted more than a month ago and I was hesitant to share this at first. Back in my mind, I might be disrespected if clients, friends and relatives read about this. But, thank God for the courage that He gave me to share this humble testimony in my life. Click here to read the story [...]